A letter to a guy
The following letter was written on 7/25/18 by Taylor, while in recovery, to a guy that gave her heroin without her knowledge.
I’m getting out a lot that I never could say. I don’t think I hate you. I just feel sorry for you. I’m sorry you’re so lonely you have to use other people. I’m sorry you’re so hurt that you have to hurt others. Most of all, I’m sorry you feel the need to lie to others to protect yourself.
From the beginning I knew we wouldn’t work out, I’m guilty of using you too. I saw how unstable and fragile you were, I thought I would grow to love you like you wanted, but I couldn’t. I knew it wasn’t good for me and I continued to come around anyway; I gave you all my power.
You hurt me a lot. You lied, you took my time, and a part of my sanity. For that I’m upset but grateful. You showed me more qualities about myself that I need to work on. It was my fault for putting up with your sh*t for so long. Every once in awhile I think about reaching out, but then I sit back and remember all the sh*t you put me through. Most of all, I can’t stand you for lying to me and giving me heroin. I would NEVER have tried it or continued if it wasn’t for that night. But this is helping me learn how to forgive. I was sick from the dope for days and now I’m in rehab. That’s something you have to live with forever. Continuing to use was my fault but giving that drug to me was yours! How could you give me that when you saw how it destroyed you? Were you trying to destroy me too?
It doesn’t matter now I’m putting myself back together.
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